I’m not feeling too good right now. I don’t want to go work later. Sorethroat, coughing and ulcers. Sighs. I’m exhausted. =(
I just have this feeling everyone thinks I’m a bad designer. After 3 years, I felt that I don’t learn much. I felt that I’m the worst designer; lack of experience, bad attitude and knows nothing much.
I know I made alot of mistakes. Yes alot. I admitted that I don’t know some of the basic calculations or design requirements and such.. I would appreciate if you could tell me what are my mistakes so that I can learn from it. You don’t have to go round telling people about it. You kept telling me that I always push the blame to others. I’m not. I’m just saying that I’m taking over somebody else project and I didn’t realise the mistakes. I do make mistakes, I know.
How am I supposed to learn from my mistakes if you don’t tell me? Who else should I seek help from if all my seniors unwillingly answer the problems/questions I asked?
Maybe I’m rude towards some of my colleagues at times. Perhaps, this is my retribution..
Sometimes I felt that I’m the stupidest designer. I wished I have all the knowledge and experience, so that I can do my work worry-free. You don’t know how stress I am. I felt that I’m being bullied sometimes. I don’t know alot of things.
You may think I think too much. I just felt it. I can feel that people talking behind my back. They’re acting indifferently towards me. I can feel it.
Sorry, I’m very sensitive and emotional when I’m unwell..
I should have taken MC just now, so I don’t have to go through the rough Monday blues.
Sighs. This is hard. I don’t know if I want to continue doing this for the rest of my life. I felt like quiting at times. Sometimes I just felt like screaming my hearts out when I’m stressed up. I’m frustrated. I feel like giving up.
Only God knows what I’m thinking and feeling right now.
I have to do something about this.
=,(
